Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
