hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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