Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
