16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
