this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
