you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
