that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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