this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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