she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
