I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
