i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
