You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize