I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
