I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I supernannyed him into submission
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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