I wanna bring you to show and tell
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
