Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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