And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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