I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
