Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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