put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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