anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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