yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
