Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize