I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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