dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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