I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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