then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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