Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
