playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
