yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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