His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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