glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
