Apparently you make a good broom.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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