My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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