My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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