I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
