There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
third nipple confirmed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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