You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
