That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
