I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
