Im at strip club and am horny
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
