I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
