She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
