This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
