erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
