ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize