i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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