Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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