i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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