i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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