Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
