so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
