youre lurking in front of me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize