p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
