Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
