i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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