At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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